No, seriously. I half-expected that Theseus, in the midst of heated battle, would rip out his toga and clobber the living daylights outta the bad guys in his shiny blue-and-red super suit. Just look at Henry Cavill: the man’s a spitting image of Christopher Reeve, and a whole lot more menacing. Plus, he’s got the beefcake to match the exaggerated proportions of Mr. S in comic books.
I wasn’t so sure when the teaser images of “Man of Steel” first came out, but now I’m convinced: Henry Cavill may be the best Superman yet. And with darker story material from Goyer and Nolan, “Man of Steel” may well be the best Superman movie yet. And with Zach Snyder at the helm, we can expect some tastefully done slo-mo action sequences, a la “300″, “Watchmen” and “Sucker Punch”.
In short, a movie well worth waiting for. June 14, 2013 is a little too far out, but hey, anything for Superman.
Ah, but we digress. This blog is about “Immortals” – Hollywood’s latest attempt at aggrandizing Greek myth with beautiful people, spectacular visual effects, and incredible amounts of gore. And unfortunately, nothing much else. We follow the adventures of a strapping Greek peasant, Theseus, in his quest to foil the plans of the mad King Hyperion who’s hell bent on finding this super awesome weapon that will destroy the Gods. Does Theseus prevail? No, he doesn’t. Does Hyperion prevail? No, he doesn’t. Do the Gods prevail? No, they don’t. End of story.
To give the movie makers some credit, I loved the way the they strove to “keep it real”. The austere visuals, the unabashed display of mutilation and dismemberment, and most especially the reimagining of the Minotaur plot, which I think was very well done. Remember Achilles’ heel in “Troy”? Quite like that, yes.
But after all the pain to create what could have well been the story behind the famous myth, they bring in Gods with super powers et al. If there are supernatural beings in the picture, why not go all out and stay faithful the old stories? I, for one, would have loved to see a real Minotaur. Oops, spoiler.
Then again, what old tale does not have its spin-offs? The comic-books of today have their hundred other story versions, where artists simply do what they please with superheroes, and justify it with “Oh, this is an alternate Universe.” So let’s not nitpick on the wildly inaccurate – I repeat, wildly inaccurate! – character histories, and enjoy the film for what its worth, shall we?
The violence is relentless from the very first scene. We are subjected to seeing men being hacked, slashed and shredded in increasingly imaginative ways. Heads burst open like melons, limbs are torn off bodies and flung all over the place, and at one point a God neatly cleaved a dude in two, along his spine. After a while, I got jaded from all the bloodletting. For once, I wanted the action to stop, just to see if there was any story beyond that.
While I shouldn’t be complaining (I got these sneak preview tickets from Omy.Sg for free!), I’ll give the movie a 2.5/5. Decent. Could’ve been more, though. Much, much more.
“Immortals” does have its moments. Like that epic showdown between the Gods and the Titans. More specifically, Athena slashing the Titans left, right and center. Warrior chicks turn me on. And, of course, that fine view of Freida Pinto’s derriere – in her birthday suit.
Boys, go get your tickets now!





